The World is Going Rotton

I realised too late that I had forgotton to put a title to my last blog or to explain the picture for the uninitiated. Actually, all I did first time around was to forget to put my name on the end - hardly necessay anyway but I obsess over detail. Trying to edit the piece then turned into a total nightmare as some kind of bug in the blogger reduced my efforts to a single line of scribble which, in fact, contained the entire blog. Alas, this was only visible through a telescope card plugged into a usb port. I attempted to delete it and re-publish but only ever got a repeat performance or an empty blog. Eventually half the blog disappeared, even in the editor, so I gave in and re-typed what was missing. I have always believed that obsessional behaviour leads to disaster although I also believe that it could have prevented a few. Some smart alex once said 'If a job's worth doing its worth doing badly' and logically I see no flaw in that. Perhaps that's the microsoft philosophy - better to have us less than perfect rather than not have us at all. I don't think we should take a vote on that one!

Anyway, the picture is of Johnny Rotton, a punk hero of many years ago. I found the picture on http://www.punk77.co.uk/punkhistory/photography.htm and since the photographer is rather pleased with his work it is only right that I give him due credit. He is Ian Dickson and I believe his images appear in a biography of Johnny Rotton.

Pierre

I realised a long time ago that I was out of touch with modern living but I still pride myself on being well informed about what is going on in the world. The two are not quite the same thing. I manage a suite of computers and scan news events etc. I still think about what is happening in the world and I could express an informed opinion about a lot of things. Probably, in truth, I am better in touch than many younger people. Perhaps that is the privilege of age. What I cannot do is to think like a modern day person.

I have just finished watching the NME Awards ceremony on the TV. Everything about this programme is alien to me but it is like a challenge to try to understand what is going on and what the appeal of it is. I can still remember what it was like to be young and to feel passionate about music and culture. I can especially still remember what it was like to be 'written off' by the grannies of this world. In that sense my position remains with the young - and always will do. What I struggle with is trying to understand what is going on today culturally.

There seems to be a huge movement which is designed to bring 'obscenity' into the mainstream. I have put that word in quotation marks so that it can evolve into the realms of the acceptable if that is its destiny. Swearing on TV was something I never experienced in my own youth. I have only just returned to watching TV after some 3 years without one (bliss) and whilst I was away people started swearing on the box although there do appear to rules about it. Music too contains swearing and probably the worst offender is comedy.

I saw a comedy documentary not long ago in which I gathered that there is an acknowledged agenda among writers to be as outrageous as possible in the interests of pushing the boundaries of acceptable comedy forward (or should that be onward?).

An age in which anything goes. Neo-punk? No forbidden words. Politically correct obscenities. Led of course by the media who have been quick to realise that they have to re-package themselves into this 'reality TV mode' if they are to maintain credibility in the modern world. In a nutshell the central freedom of speech issue here would seem to be the statement:

"I can say 'fuck' whenever I want to and no one has the right to stop me."

Freedom of speech is, of course, a very important issue and I would certainly want to defend anyone's right to express themselves in whatever way they see fit. After all, I don't have to listen to them if I don't want to. I got on fine without a TV for 3 years. I can do it again. The internet is a great place to get the news. (I heartily recommend Reuters online.)

Odd, though, that this same society is banning smoking in public places, another 'freedom' that some want to exercise in public. And there are many, many examples of private space/public space issues that could be cited. The fact is there are huge differences between how we behave, according to whose company we are in. Language, including body language, is always going to be at the centre of this because it is, by definition, a tool of communication. My generation had a relatively easy task of coping with family, school and work progressively and that was about it. Today the whole socialisation thing is much more complex. Public space has crossed the threshold into our living rooms and bedrooms. We now communicate with people through our phones and computers and on our doorsteps without even leaving the house. When we do go out we buy, negotiate and interact with crowds of people. Inevitably, our attitude toward strangers has changed. Oddly, though, our long suffering shop assistants still have to put up with torrents of abuse just because they are 'strangers' behind a till. Perhaps we shall see a fight back. Supposing they could say 'Fuck off, I'm not serving you if you speak to me like that.' Well that would be a level playing field!

I suppose for me, as the arch democrat, I would take the view that whatever people want to be the accepted way of behaving has to be allowed expression but personally I don't want streakers in the middle of the Olympics or copulation in the adverts and I don't want to hear obscenities from every other mouth. I hope there is still room for each of us to say 'I did it My Way'.

Pierre

No Regrets

For someone who has gone through life with the idea that we should never dwell on the past - just enjoy it while you can - then move on to something else, I seem to spend an excessive amount of time examining my own particulars. Perhaps not so surprising since my profession meant that my best stance was to be as invisible as possible. Mind you, the idea that I could ever be invisible is amusing to say the least but certainly when I did draw attention to myself (and that was often) the subject was always other people or structural dynamics in organisations. How many of us can resisit the temptation when a friend tells us something to respond with our own version of the same thing. Even if we are being sympathetic we still can only manage it by direct comparison with our own experiences along similar lines. And that is exactly what the psychotherapist does not do. Indeed, I suspect it is one of the very few points that all (yes ALL) psychotherapists can agree on. No one visits a therapist to hear about his or her problems or opinions and if the therapist is unwise enough to voice them the therapeutic power is instantly diminished. I am not saying you have to be a good listener. Far from it. I always took the view that you only listened in order to understand what the family members were doing to one another. If you just let them express themselves you would do no good at all. They would simply repeat their problems over and over again. I was always a very controlling therapist, although I did it in the nicest possible way, but there was never any doubt who was in charge.

At the time I believed in what I was doing. Looking back I realise how much of it was an ego trip and how much I desperately wanted to be a famous and successful therapist. So why didn't it happen?

There was a period in my career when I was on local radio most weeks, the chair of our professional organisation in the city in which I worked, organising national conferences and making documentaries for television companies. I remember quite clearly the realisation came to me that if I carried on the way I was I was about to hit the media like a new TV Chef. Did I want that to happen? I came to the conclusion that the answer was a resounding 'No'. I knew that it would end my carefully contrived position of sitting on the edge of what was going on - 'meta to the system' as we say. The media is pretty well meta to the system anyway and in so many ways which are counter to what psychotherapy is all about. To work in the media you have to have an opinion about everything and be ready to express it in 2 minutes flat whenever a microphone is shoved in your face. My great achievement was the one down position - the true position of power. I often used to joke with people that if I came at them strong with lots of noise and opinions they were fairly safe - but look out if I seem unsure of myself and say I don't know. In that mode I could change the world. So the world of media was hardly my thing.

The other thing I remember contemplating at that time (the mid eighties) was something my son did. I only made one early evening news broadcast for the BBC and inevitably my family recorded it. Some while after I was looking for the tape and eventually discovered that my son had recorded over it a film about Oliver Reed crossing the alps with a herd of elephants. His comment was that my piece was very boring. It would have been different if I had got shot or something. Of course he was right. Most people watch TV for entertainment.

Anyway, from then onwards I made sure that I never went too far in the direction of celebrity. I value my anonymity, moreso now than ever. I dread to think how my family would have coped with a famous father also. Growing up is hard enough as it is.

My conclusion is that I did what I set out to do which was to practice psychotherapy. Along the way I had a fair number of firsts and I stirred up a few controversies. I had a great time and do not regret a single minute - highs or lows. I did not become famous but then I did not set out to become famous although I did get palpitations at the smell of the grease paint, and always will. I did not become rich although I made a good living. I always said that if I wanted to get rich I would not be doing what I was doing. I did not want to be rich (or poor). So, I am content with my life and if I had it all over again - yes I would do something completely different because I never dwell on the past - move on always.

I wonder how many people can agree with my views. Very few I suspect. Sadly, the American Dream - rags to riches - has become the British Dream. We live more than ever for fame and fortune, preferably by instant methods, whether winning the lottery, being on Big Brother or just being in the right place at the right time. How many of us can say we had that dream in our sights - and then woke up just in time?

Pierre