Sunday, September 24, 2006

Super Tags

I know I go on about it a lot but I have a librarian trapped inside me - and she's got an anal complex. At times it is frightening but most of the time it is, well, just stimulating!

Anyway, I've been checking out the old Technorati tags and it seems I had not quite got them right. All those with more than one word in them have to be joined by the plus sign in the code. Otherwise they don't work. Unfortunately, the second half of the code gives the impression that all is well but that is just a label. I have tried to write out the code for you but it keeps executing with rather bizarre results so you will have to go to the Technorati web site if you want to get it.

Why bother? Well the answer is that you can sprinkle the web with your own tags. This means that others can find your piece by searching on one of your quirky tags. For example, if my long lost friend, Mike Hall, types in his name, Colwyn Bay or Shastri, he will find me. Is that powerful or what? So will any of his friends from those days if they say to themselves "I wonder what happened to Shastri." Give it a try. Go on. Go on. Go on.

Pierre

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Bonzo Blog Blah Blah

Yet another friend of the sixties who still has his own hair is this gentleman, who's name escapes me. If anyone can help me out - he is Neil Innes, Roger Ruskin Spear, Rodney Slater, Sam Spoons, Vernon Dudley Bohay Nowell, Bob Kerr or "Legs" Larry Smith - collectively known as the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. I briefly worked with him in a children's home in North London. I remember he came to work on a bicycle and was quite reserved. I guess that was his day job!

If my appalling memory serves me rightly (unlikely, but stranger things have happened in the Band) they had already become quite well known by then and had certainly been on the telly, yet no one treated him as special. No one asked for an autograph or went into hero worship mode. I guess this was before the mass hysteria of fame fame fame which seems to haunt so many today. As I recall it, living in Hampstead, he had competition. As students we often went for a wander across Hampstead Heath and commented on the possibility that we might see some pop groups also going for a walk. And we did! I could never work out who was who but I daresay there were some pretty famous names in there.

Students in those days were quite snobbish about who was "in" and "cool" (a word resurrected) and I think Bonzo Dog was not "cool" at that stage. I remember liking them but keeping quiet about it. I had already wrecked what little street credibility I had by playing "I'm a Tiger" by Lulu at a Westfield College gig we did. Someone much more savvy rushed across and quickly changed the record. I was never allowed to be a DJ again! However, I did bump into Tony Blackburn in Kilburn one Sunday morning and I thought about asking for an autograph but all I had with me was a loaf of bread so I just said "Hi". No one was very impressed about that either. Sorry, Tony, and that was before The Goodies got their teeth into you.

Well Bonzo Dog are still on the touring circuit, almost as cheaply as the geriatric trips to the German Christmas markets. More info HERE. As for me, all this excitement has brought back a load more ALMOST FAMOUS memories which I will post another time. Perhaps I could re-write my life in the sixties around the bass guitar I played and finally gave as a present to another friend, Shastri (otherwise known as Mike Hall from Colwyn Bay, read medieval literature at North West London Poly) . Giving up the guitar was a huge symbolic gesture for me. I made my mind up that day that I was not going to be a pop star (a wise decision) and I knew how much Shastri wanted to be one - for all the right reasons - he was totally immersed in it. I hope he got what he wanted and I hope my donation helped along the way. Trouble is, we have all lost touch with him (yes, another one) so if anyone out there can find Shastri let me know.

Pierre

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Lord of the Sings

Just something to cheer away the weekend. It won't make Crowbarred's top 1000 tunes but it's good therapy for the terminally insane.

I have not had time to explore this strange web site properly yet but I think it shows promise as one of those wacky doos sites (Did I just invent a new word then?). Anyway, whatever. It was never like this at the Old Bull and Bush on a Saturday night! Enjoy.

Pierre

Link: http://www.compfused.com/directlink/3995/

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

Brainwashing and Democracy

If anyone asked you what you thought of brainwashing and whether or not it had a place in a free society I expect you would have no problem or hesitation in your answer. Part of what we mean by freedom includes freedom of mind or choice as we would say.

It has long been accepted that our choices are limited by the necessity to have rules and, of course, the making and breaking of those rules constitutes a huge part of the character of our society. It is also accepted that a certain amount of "brainwashing" is required to train and socialise children. It is more commonly known as behavioural psychology. In my own diagnostic career I established very early on that all people can be divided into one of two groups. Generally, my first step, which I thought of as an orientation procedure, was to classify a patient/client into an over socialised or an under socialised person. Delinquent behaviour, for example, could be caused by lack of supervision in a child who has been allowed to run wild or rebellion by a child who has been surrounded by rules. These are neat opposites which, therefore, indicate a solution in the area of increasing or decreasing structure. Obviously, it is crucial that the therapist is clear about which is which.

As well as finding the right solution it is necessary to devise a little procedure which can be followed over and over again. Life is structured around big things and little things, nice things and chores, all with different levels of importance and appeal. The trick is to take something the child wants and make it conditional upon something you want the child to do. All this works much better if you put a positive spin on it. So, lets suppose the child wants to go out to play. Your answer might be "Yes, you can go out just as soon as you finish your tea". This is far preferable to threatening the child with "No, your'e not going out because you haven't finished your tea". The reason a positive spin works better is because it keeps the focus on what you both want to achieve instead of allowing the agenda to be hi-jacked by an argument about what neither of you wants.

So there it is. Once we nasty psycho-babblists came along we opened the door to all kinds of thought control. If only you knew!

First off the mark were the greedy money makers - sales and advertisers. The shocking statistic, which inspired this piece, is that on average, each of us is exposed to around 500 adverisements per day. Now, I don't care how much trite rubbish they dig out to defend the need to advertise in a capitalist society. My concern is quantity. Many, many television adverts are run over and over and over again at every commercial break. Why? There is only one sane and reasonable explanation. We are being bombarded by brainwashing techniques. And the scale of it is greater than most psychologists and most parents achieve in socialisinmg their children. Shock. Horror.

One of my pet mental procedures is to contemplate where a currently popular idea will be in 50 or 100 years time. I predict that at some time in the future there will be a mass revolt against what will be called psychological abuse, akin to child abuse, and that it will radically alter the world of advertising for ever. People will become very conscious of all forms of thought control and it will be akin to racism, sexism etc to attempt to enter someone's mind without permission. I think the idea of psychological rape is already understandable in our society and that is a huge leap forward.

In my next piece I will take a look at the economics of this hollow freedom to persuade. What would happen to society if we took out huge chunks of advertising making millions redundant. Would it cause a world recession? Would it affect climate change?

In the meantime, may I recommend that you do what I have done for a good long time and hit the MUTE button when the ads come on.

Pierre

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Paul Hillier, Friend

We don't know, at the time, which events in life will stand out like a beacon across the years. Sometimes it is the simplest and silliest of things that become a part of our personal treasure chest.

Until October 1967 I had grown up in a provincial northern town, Halifax, in what was then the West Riding of Yorkshire. Life was a challenge, both intellectually and personally. Intellectually, because I had become a born again pentecostal believer some years earlier and was now having doubts about the validity of that. I was about to take that particular strand into a whole new dimension as I embarked upon my degree course in Theology at Kings College, London. Personally, because less than a year earlier, I had said goodbye to my parents and brothers, Richard and Mark, as they emigrated to New Zealand on one of the last of the assisted passage schemes, for the princely sum of £10.

That day I was the best man at my older brother's wedding (Paul Rayner) and went straight from the reception to the train station, bound for London. I was not, at that time, comfortable with London and, although outspoken, actually quite terrified inside. Perhaps I should have been called Hornblower!

My life changed forever, that day. I never again lived in Halifax. It was the end of childhood, suddenly and irrevocably.

Like the curtain rising on a new act in a play I entered New College, Theological College and Hall of Residence, that evening not knowing what lay before me. Hearing the commotion, the student next door came out and introduced himself, Paul Hillier. He, too, was just starting out, but in a very different field. He was a singer at the Guildhall School of Music. He had milk, a precious commodity for a student and made me a very welcome cuppa.

I don't know who else I met that night. In the days that followed there were many others and we became quite a notorious gang. But that night was special. It was a rite of passage night. There could have been no one finer to share it with. Paul was always so unassuming, relaxed and yet passionate in an absorbing way about whatever he did. I think he saw life as like a garden full of beautiful things just waiting to be plucked. For me, also a man of passion, there is always an issue. For Paul, there is passion without either effort or issue. That's why he is so suited to music.

Inevitably, our destinies took us in different directions. I suppose I last saw him around 1970, maybe even 1969, when I moved out of New College. A few years ago, I started looking for old friends on the internet, and had some remarkable finds. At that time Paul was nowhere to be found. Now, I have a very peculiar disability. I forget people's names. I once, famously, forgot my French teacher's name for 3 days and she had been teaching me for four years. This disability is compounded by the fact that many of these old friends had nicknames, so we never used their real names anyway. Paul was called Will Thatcher (long before there was another famous Thatcher!) because of his West Country twang and homliness. This was further developed when 2 of us found a gravestone in Winchester Cathedral to one Will Thatcher who died of drinking hot toddy.

Anyway, I digress. My search for long lost friends continued today when I quite accidentally spotted the credits in a listing for a BBC TV programme about the notorious pirate, Blackbeard. Among the contributors/actors is one James Hillier. Ahh! said I. That's his name. Paul Hillier. From that to a search engine to Paul's web site was then quite simple. In fact there is a second one here.

Paul, it turns out, is not only famous and successful. He is at the very top of his profession with something like 80 recordings and associations all over the world. Moreover, he must be one of the few children of the 60s who still looks much the same, even down to the hair!

I was so pleased that Paul had fulfilled the potential that was always so clearly there from the outset and I can see in his pictures that he hasn't changed at all in his nature. I am proud to say that for me he was and I hope always will be, quite simply, my friend.

Pierre

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Work - The Curse of the Blogging Man

Almost 2 weeks since my last post. I can't believe it! I started blogging in the belief that at last I would have time to make daily posts in my post heart attack world. Truth is I'm busier than ever. Mind you I am getting a lot done and it is our year end which produces a paperwork fest to delight any civil servant. I never realised how much paper has in common with water. No matter how much you try to control it still it comes flowing through.

Anyway, still 3 months' VAT to catch up on and the annual accounts to finalise. Then it will be Christmas, no doubt. No promises but I'll do my best.

Just a couple of things to mention before they get lost in time. First is to crowbarred who seems to be confused about the difference between a link (which is an address, usually starting with http://) and a tag (which is a subject word or phrase used for searching). See his comment on my piece Music Music Music. I did write a long and detailed (and probably boring) explanation about these 2 a week ago and then ran into a beta type issue with the blogger. Next thing I knew - there it was - gone. There is nothing more deflating than to lose a piece of work forever like that. Golden rule, of course, is always to save it in draft but, well I didn't. Bah.

Following on from that I cannot stress too much how important it is to register with Technorati, claim your blogs, ping after every post and link to other sites (and of course get them to link to you.) There are millions of bloggers out there and if you want to get noticed you have to do things!!!

On a lighter note, I came across this rather relaxing post. Enjoy.

Pierre

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stats Are In

A little late but Technorati has, at last, updated the test stats I put in over the weekend. Both sites now show links. In the case of the Windows Live site it is showing 1 link from 1 blog. This site is showing 2 links from 1 blog. There is a bit of an issue with the number of links but it may not make any difference to the outcome if the point is that for ranking purposes the number of blogs which link is what counts. Both sites are now showing identical rankings at 1,016,551. There is no doubt that the proper working site is this one so I am very confident that it is not traffic but blogs linking which affects the ranking. So, if you want to rise up the ranks get your friends to link to you. And that is my next step. I have an almost unused site which I set up for a friend and which I have virtually free access to so I am going to use that to make a link to see what happens when a second site links to you.

I will post the results.

Pierre

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It's Official: Shipping Forecast Is In

Yes, in fact there were many, many nominations. See the entry and write up on this page. Also there is a comment from yours truly. I must say, the main entry does it proud and is better by far than my modest effort. But then, I'm probably better at explaining ethnomethodology, so each to his own.

The original post in this blog is here.

Pierre

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Music Music Music

I have come across a very industrious gentleman from New Zealand. Probably, in truth, he has come across me for I have found traces of him all over the place. He appears to have done a great deal in a short time. The main emphasis is on music videos and if you like music I feel sure you will love this site.

The reason I mention him is because he does not simply browse other people's blogs. He takes the trouble to leave a comment. I am sure many, new to blogging, will appreciate greatly his interest. We should all take a moment to leave a word of encouragement as we pass by. That's what makes this a social network and not just a narcissistic journey into our selves.
Also, there are 3 main ways in which a blog becomes noticed. You must post, tag and link. For that reason I am doing my bit for Crowbarred by linking to one of his 3 sites. I hope you enjoy.

Pierre

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

Even More

So far no results. Everything appears to have updated. I had to post on the Windows Live site to make it update but that's all it did. We still have a link status of 2 to Blogger and none to Windows Live. The ranking also is unchanged.

There are a couple of possibilities here. First is that the link was to the Trackback address and not the site in general. Maybe that format does not credit a link. The way to test that is to make 7 links to the site this time round.

Another possibility is that several servers are involved here (which I am sure there are) and that updating one by pinging is only the beginning. Replication to other servers may be required before the full story is revealed. With this in mind I am going to wait a while before initiating plan B234.

Pierre

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And More

Results: The ping updated the stats. Looks very likely, therefore, that you have to post to get the server to whirr into action.

This site now shows 2 links from 1 blog so it does not matter how many times you link to the same item in a post it is only credited as one link. However, each new post will credit another link if it is made in the post.

The link to the title which was itself a link to Technorati did, indeed, take me to Technorati. Conclusion, be careful about using the title to link to a source as this prevents others from linking to you by item. I have a bit of a problem with this one because many of these links are so long they go off the end of the allocated page and upset the layout. I had started using the link to embed the source without having to display it. I suppose the answer is to make a link to the friendly part of the URL.

Next issue is what effect does linking have on ranking. Before I conducted these experiments I had 2 blogs. The first was in msn myspace which became Windows Live. This had a handful of posts in it the last of which explained that I had started a new blog on Blogger and gave the URL for that. I then continued posting on Blogger. Both were claimed on Technorati and pinged. Although I lost touch for a while whilst having heart surgery the ranking situation was, in ratio at least, always in favour of the Windows Live site. The difference is huge, around a third or half a million. Yesterday, when I managed to update the Windows Live ping (by posting) the Windows Live site demoted itself to 1,424,556 whilst the Blogger site (this one) promoted itself to 1,011,387. The essential difference appears to be just one link from the Windows Live site to this one. The next stage in the experiment, therefore, is to see if I can restore the Windows Live site to its former glory simply by linking to it (and possibly posting a little post on it) to make the servers notice its sweet little contribution to bloggery.

Pierre

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More Techno Babble

As predicted the links reversed when both sites were pinged. Interesting that the Windows Live site had gone 187 days without updating in spite of being set to ping automatically. I then inserted 6 links in a new post all pointing to the title of the last post on this site (which is a link to my Technorati profile). For good measure I added a link to this site itself and a Trackback to the Technorati link. I then pinged both sites from Technorati. The Windows Live site updated at once but there were no changes or updates to this site, presumably because the changes were external. I am now posting this piece to see what effect it has.

Pierre

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Technorati Link

You can all ignore this post unless you are a technorati genius. I am trying to figure out why my pathetic little msn blog which I stopped using months ago has a higher rating than this one. The explanation seems to be that technorati thinks it has 1 blog linking to it (this one?) I seem unable to reverse the process. Perhaps it is a limitation in msn. Obviously the point is important if you want to rise up the rankings. As a test I have placed the same link to my technorati blog claim as I used in the msn blog to see if that is the source of the link.
Pierre

A British Icon

This blog officially supports The Shipping Forcast as a British icon (See link in Title). I was amazed to find that it has not yet been nominated and so I have nominated it myself. Obviously it will not be number one but, nevertheless, many of us have it chiselled into our identities. I have spent years and years driving late at night and often been cheered along by "Sailing Home" and the Shipping Forcast. It has also been the prelude to some stunning contributions to the World Service from the BBC which follows the closing of Radio 4 after the Shipping Forcast. I remember once someone chose it as a Desert Island Disc also and I can understand why. To those of you outside our shores this must seem to be totally barmy British eccentricity but to those of us who were brought up on Latin, Empire, Shakespere, canings and cricket it is the essense of life itself.


I will not try to explain further. You either get it or you don't!

Pierre

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PS: What a shame they made the site specifically English which excludes many cultural items from Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland. I hope my nomination, which clearly relates to the whole of the British Isles, is not, thereby, refused.

Trend of Things

Trying to make sense of the history of your own time whilst it is happening is well nigh impossible. However, with increasing age the past comes into focus. The dust settles. Alles klar, as the germans say.

I came across an interesting observation recently which was that in the 1920s there was a change from making what people need to persuading people that what machines make is what they need.

The more I think about it and the more profound it seems.

Pierre

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New Kid on the Block

Congratulations to Olly Freeman on coming 3rd in the London Triathlon. This is the first time he has been old enough to compete at the under 23 level (he is just 20). A very creditable performance considering that he beat 2 Olympic winners! And such enthusiasm too. Did he have an MP3 player concealed about his person? I would swear he was chilling out as he ran.

Pierre

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ozone Layer Alive and Well

Click on the title to find a piece in Reuters which explains that the ozone layer is making a slow but definite recovery. A few years ago we were told that most of it had gone from above the Antarctic and that as a result all kinds of catastrophies were destined to follow. Chief of these was global warming but there was also increased risk of cancer from the unfiltered sun's rays and the eventual loss of the atmosphere altogether as the ozone layer played an important part in holding in the other layers of the atmosphere. As a result we had a worldwide ban on CFCs, the propellants in aerosols and some fridges of the day.

Well, I am delighted with the good news, of course, but even more confused about what is really going on. If the ozone layer is slowly repairing itself then why is global warming accelerating?

I suspect that the truth is that no one really knows what is causing global warming although this will not stop plently of people from writing about it. I have always been a sceptic, myself, of the idea that man is the chief architect of this phenomenon and that the cause is the practice of burning fossil fuels. I don't doubt that the world is getting warmer. That is the easy bit. We only have to measure it. Mind you, how long have we been capable of doing that. Not long.

Since everyone has a theory and no one really knows I have decided to offer my own theory. We are currently experiencing the greatest amount of sunspot activity ever known since such observations began. The amount of energy thrown out by sunspots is, pardon the pun, astronomical. Therefore, it is reasonable to suppose that the main cause of global warming is sunspot activity. This would also account for climatic variations in time past. The sun is reasonably well behaved but no one is perfect. Perhaps this sun is going through a bad ass phase (excuse the american phrase, most unlike me).

Food for thought or am I going senile?

Pierre

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Universal Inflation

That numbers guy is at it again. This one caught my eye. One thing that marks out our age is size or scale and the quote here sums it up rather nicely.

Pierre

Source: http://numericlife.blogspot.com/2006/08/economical-numbers.html

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We Are Closer Than You Think

The link on this blog takes you to a rather wonderful site. The guy there collects numeric information. It might sound boring at first but, in truth, much of our lives is controlled by numbers, as a recent TV programme has illustrated very well. Although the research in this blog is not new (2001) I presume in his eternal search for all things numeric he has only just got around to it.

The basic point is that even though thousands of people are involved in an enterprise they are related to each other at only 6 removes. This has been known since 1929 but the guy in 2001 used the internet to prove it, which of course makes it proven beyond all doubt.

Pierre

Source: http://numericlife.blogspot.com/2006/08/six-degree-of-separation.html

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Is Everybody Happy?

Apparently some of us are more happy than others and the differences appear to be marked. The University of Leicester is about to publish the first ever world map/study of relative happiness. This is based on 80,000 interviews worldwide. The main indicators turn out to be health, wealth and education. Remember the old ditty:

Early to bed, early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

I have been unable to find an original source at the moment. Possibly someone jumped the gun and it is not yet out. The link at the start of this piece is to a blog that has details of the project. I will let you see for yourself where we all rank. Well worth a read.

Pierre

Source: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=25774562&blogID=155300862

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A Bad Day for Spanners

I should know better. In spite of being an otherwise rational, if not anal, human being, I am highly superstitious. This is something I will, no doubt, write about at some length in due course, as one of the ways in which I justify my existence is to embark on that famous journey of searching for the meaning of life.

My present problem is that over the years I have found a very clear relationship between disaster and the date of the 13th of the month. This is not something I want to be true. It is something I have, dare I say it, scientifically observed to be true.

So this is not a good day to be tinkering with the web site. Several days ago I applied for the Reuters news player which you can only have on your site as a syndicated item. In other words you apply for it and they take a look at your site and say yes if its OK and no if you're pushing porn or terrorism. Since my site has neither of these I was accepted. Fitting it in then became a major problem, or, should I say, project.

These ready made blogger templates are brilliant for getting started and if you wonder why they look so good I can tell you. They are so good. The Player was just slightly too big to fit at the top of the page. The result was that all the stuff in the right hand column got shunted to the bottom. Now I have a nodding acquaintance with HTML from one of the many books I read up to Chapter Six (my favourite chapter, mainly because I rarely get as far as Chapter 7). However, nodding might get you by in German but teutonic precision pales in the face of HTML!! According to the book (Chapter Six) you can only advise browsers what they should do with your code. You cannot actually tell them where to stick it (although I came close a few times). As if in sympathy with the codies my last post decided to play the shunting trick on me all without provocation. So, if things look a bit odd around here just ignore it because it will all return to normal at midnight - it always does.

Pierre

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Change the World? Not Me Mate

I never thought the day would come. I have decided to drop the complaint against the hospital trust. Today is the last day for writing to the Ombudsman and with me that is not a simple letter. I know it will take up all of my day. I like to be thorough so I know I would have made a proper job of it.

The truth is I doubt if it would make any difference. A few years ago I had the dubious honour of writing an entire complaints procedure for a group of special schools which I was the director of. We then had to be inspected by both the Department of Education and Science (as it then was) and the local authority. We passed with flying colours I am happy to say As a result of becoming intimate with complaints procedures I took more than a passing interest in their implementation. My conclusion, (forgive me if, on this occasion, I omit the evidence which would be extensive), was that complaints procedures are administered by hard nosed spin doctors who know exactly how to manipulate the situation to their advantage. The member of the public who thinks he's got them trembling at the knees has not begun to make an impression on them. I should know because I was one of them! In fairness to my own performance I certainly did care about the issue and I would deal with it thoroughly. In that sense the complainant would get what they were after. However, I would probably not expose my own staff to the mercy of a savage member of the public - so they would never know! Funny old world, don't you think?

Pierre

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Diary Note

Well I had hoped to be entering a prolific phase but - best laid plans...
Two weeks have gone by since I resumed posting for all of one day! Much has happened in this period. Initially, I simply got tired and dozed and dozed and dozed for hours and then days. Tiredness is a strange and irritating but somewhat surreal experience. You feel that you are not ill but in truth you are.

No sooner had I recovered than things got busy at work (I work from home). To cut a long story short I am currently going to various destinations in Wales 5 days a week. This requires me to get out of bed at 05:45 hours. Not good for a night person like me. The first day was tough but I was spurred on by the adrenalin burst. After that it got easier. However, I am not back until lunch time and then need a therapeutic afternoon nap so before I know it the day is gone. I thought time management was a thing of the past. How wrong can you be.

On top of that certain friends have taken to visiting most evenings (which I love) but the net result is not much time left for blogging. I do not like writing when there are others in the room. It's an atmosphere thing.

Anyway, I have spent a lot of time experimenting with the old blog. So, one way and another, there's gonna be some changes round here. Didn't I say that last time?

Pierre

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Monday, July 31, 2006

How Men Multi-Task

Running a Technorati tag of multi-tasking revealed the following:

Conversations from the Edge
Jen:
John, where's your toothbrush?

John:
I don't know, it might be in the shower.

Jen:
You brush your teeth in the shower?

John:
Yeah, I like to multi-task. I'd do more in the shower but I don't think you would approve.

Source: http://jon-a-ross.livejournal.com/389852.html

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Pay Attention Woman

Just out is a study of multi-tasking which confirms basically that if you try to do more than one thing at a time you fail miserably. The article carries weight because it is scientifically constructed. The idea that if you do 2 things at once you will somehow get twice as much out as you put in is, and always has been, rubbish. Children who grow up in a bilingual society do not simply learn 2 languages. Their linguistic ability in both languages is seriously impaired when compared with children learning only one language. Or, to take the example in the article, driving and talking on a mobile phone seriously compromises your ability to drive (not to mention the garbage that comes out of your mouth).
The best way to learn and assimilate what you have learned is to do it in silence and with singularity of purpose.
All of a sudden the notion that women can multi-task makes sense to me!
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Not Anon

On a similar note to the last post I like this idea:

Tom Byrnes (he phrased it better, but this is the gist of it):

"Ask yourself this: Which is more important to you? Who is on the bus with you or where the bus is going?"

Source: http://www.danperlman.net/me.htm

This is really hard for me.

Pierre

Anon

That most prolific of writers, Anon, has been at it again. I scribbled this one down but before I could say 'Holy Caped Crusader' he was gone without revealing his identity.

'It is not our abilities that show who we are - it is our choices.'

Works for me - every time.

Pierre

Saturday, July 29, 2006

A Point of View

For someone who does not normally remember dreaming it was alarming for me to discover this more obscure side effect of medication. Recently I woke up to find my head stuck up a cow's arse. As is the nature of dreams I have no idea how it got there or what happened to it next. What a shame we cannot take photographs of the things that go on in our heads. Still, at least I can be re-assured that my subconscious mind has a sense of humour to match its conscious counterpart. It does aptly sum up what has happened to me over the past year.

Pierre

In Rude Health

Starting to blog again is like coming home to find the dog barks at you as you enter.Everything is strange and yet strangely familiar. Anyway to business.

My health is now good after a whirlwind of treatment with impressive results. I still get tired and I still have another operation to come to sort out my walking - or lack of - due to a trapped nerve in my neck. After a lifetime as a workaholic, however, I now have a much reduced workload and a more laid back attitude. Yeah baby yeah!

The complaint has not produced a very good result. Basically the reply I had was not convincing and did not match the evidence. Although it is tempting to simply drop it I am still a perfectionist and can see some further mileage in it so I am going to refer it on to the Health Ombudsman and also the government department that deals with Health Service statistics. I remain convinced that the hospital is playing the government for a fool at the expense of its patients. Interestingly, my local MP kept well away from the issue presumably because a large part of his campaign, as an opposition MP, is to support the hospitals which means his position is compromised as anything other than a propagandist. Oh what a tangled web we weave!

I am going to try out a new approach to blogging from now on. Short pieces without pictures will be the order of the day with perhaps one longer piece per week. We shall see if I am capable of brevity. I have my doubts.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

NHS Heart Massage in Stoke

So it is true. Your life does pass before your eyes, or rather, race through your memory, when you look death in the face. Seven months ago my life came to an abrupt halt when, without warning, I collapsed with a heart attack. In those months which followed I walked hand in hand with death, never knowing when the final blow might be struck, ever hoping that I would be one of the lucky ones who pulled through to a better life. People rave about by-pass surgery, I suppose because most come out of it feeling 10 years younger. It appeals to the modern idea of a throw away society and is really no more complex than renewing the plumbing in your house. In reality, it is an expensive 4 hour operation and takes months in recovery.
I was impressed with the NHS through the treatment phase and did not really have long to wait because I was having warfarin, which thins the blood, as a treatment for a pulmonary embolism. Although, theoretically, I could have had heart surgery whilst this was happening, I was glad that we waited because I felt so much better afterwards. So, in my view, the best time for surgery is now, which means I have not had to wait at all.
'Come in next week for tests and a pre-admission visit', they said. Your operation will be the following week. Already my heart was pounding. Still, it was not too long to wait.
The visit went well. Very efficient and friendly. Outstandingly efficient x-ray department. Thorough questionaire, lots of blood samples and swabs. All systems go. 'Your admission is next Thursday', they said, 'for surgery on Friday. There are 3 operations each day and we cannot tell you which slot you will have.' I left feeling both apprehensive and re-assured that I was in good hands.
How long does it take to dissolve admiration? Ask the NHS (National Health Service, for the benefit of overseas readers). The journey home from the Royal Infirmary, Stoke on Trent, to Shrewsbury takes about an hour. Whilst I was away I had my phone diverted to a friend. I arrived home to find I had a message telling me that the admission had been brought forward a day. I was pleased. The next morning I had a phone call from the hospital asking me if I would go to Wolverhampton or Coventry instead. Bewildered, I explained that my admission had only just been confirmed and tests had been done ready for it. The woman said that she had been given a list and told to ring everyone on the list. That was all she knew. 'I think you'll find that I am on a short list, now', I said, hoping, rather than believing. She promised to investigate and phone me back. As tea time approached I realised that I had been forgotton. I rang her. She was surprised to hear from me and said someone else was supposed to have rung me. Anyway, it was good news. The admission was confirmed for Wednesday with surgery on Thursday.
The arrangements were made. Everyone knew the schedule. It had been a mad rush but I was ready. Strange to think that when I returned to my house I would be unable to reach the tea and sugar because of the soreness in my chest. I moved them down so I could get to them without stretching. As I waited that morning for time to catch up with events my mind drifted back to the debarcle of a week ago. I will ring just to confirm the day, I thought. I did. The woman remembered me and said she would check and phone me back. She did and quickly, too. 'Admission tomorrow for surgery on Thursday', she said. 'Tomorrow is Thursday', I said. 'Oh, surgery on Friday, then', she said. I quizzed her a bit to make sure she was correct and put the phone down. So, an unexpected extra day of freedom. I enjoyed it. Relaxed. Felt better for being able to chill out after the hectic preparations.
The peace was shattered with a phone call from my daughter. She told me that the hospital had phoned asking why I had not turned up. Not to panic, though. Just get yourself up there as soon as you can. My mood was changing now. It was not helped by the difficulty I had getting through to the hospital. I did not know who had phoned so rang the ward. No reply. Try again. No reply. Try switchboard. Eventually, I got through to the ward and put to them my proposal which was that I present myself for admission at 7 am. This was too much for the ward staff to deal with, a patient who makes proposals! They were, however, good humoured and promised to phone me back. It was nearly 2 hours before they did and the delay was caused by their attempts to track down the surgeon. He agreed. Brilliant. There then followed promises, nothing to eat, etc, no later than 7 am, and so on. Fast track thinks I. All sorted in a day.
The admission happened. I had the usual tests, tags on my wrists, Nil By Mouth sign over my bed, and so on. I felt as if I had sneeked in after a night on the town. The other patients were still asleep and I was ushered into my bedspace and installed before they were awake. It was exciting and again I felt my heart race a little faster.
I knew I had a long wait ahead. I was third on the list, which meant I would not be going into theatre before 3 pm and likely as late as 6 pm. I dozed awhile. Gradually, the others awoke. Strange, no one had had heart surgery. We began to talk. It turned out that the man opposite me lived a few streets away in Shrewsbury and passed my house when he collected his grand daughter from school. He had been admitted the previous day for surgery today. However, he explained, he had been waiting 5 months and had already been admitted once before only to be sent home again the next day. He expected the same thing to happen again. 'That's crazy', I said. 'Why should they send for me last night knowing that they are likely to discharge you today?' He didn't know and said he didn't mind really. They must know what they are doing. I began to wonder what was going on and particularly what my own position was going to be. No one had mentioned even a hint that my own surgery might not be proceeding. Nor did they. The man opposite left. The time passed. At 1 pm a staff nurse casually asked me, in passing, if anyone had checked to see if my surgery was going ahead. I replied, defensively, that this was the first mention to me that it might not. I had come here to have surgery. More time passed. At 3 pm the same staff nurse returned with the bad news that there was now confirmation that my surgery was not going ahead. I was to return home.
To say that I was displeased is an understatement. However, I have much experience of crisis and intense situations and my brain always manages to take over before my emotions make a fool of me. My eyes narrowed on the poor bearer of bad news. My voice became cold and logical as I gathered from her the facts. There are but 9 intensive care beds and although the surgery can be done it is the intensive care which causes the bottle neck. I quiz her on the man opposite. 'It's not the same', she fumbles. 'He has a different consultant to you.' 'Yes, but its the same intensive care department', says I. She admits defeat. Then my death blow. 'So, every day you admit patients, keep them until lunch time and if no one unexpectedly dies, you send them home again?' No reply. Then a defensive excuse to leave. Ten minutes later the staff nurse returned with a piece of paper. She had re-arranged my admission for the following week and ordered a free taxi to take me home today and to collect me next week. I would also be receiving a written apology from the hospital.
As statistics go the written apology, not to mention the taxis, are likely to be statistically significant. I cannot imagine that many patients receive the treatment I had. I seem to hear a hushing sound. No question, I am afraid. The facts in this affair are too important to be hushed up. I do not have exact figures but it is not difficult to extrapolate on known figures. The hospital does about 900 by-pass operations a year which equates to around 18 a week. The number admitted who are sent home again is likely to be all of that 900 who are not admitted directly from an emergency facility multiplied by the number of false admissions. So, if there are, for example, 450 admitted from a waiting list and each has 2 'false' admissions then there are 900 frustrated admissions.
There is a possible justification for this policy and that is that it guarantees that the expensive and scarce resource of intensive care is always full. Well, lets look at that. Most intensive care admissions are for a predictable period of time so it is possible to tell reasonably accurately when someone is likely to be moved to another facility because they no longer require intensive care. Mostly, but not always. Some develop complications and need to stay longer. Some die and create an unexpected vacancy. To some extent these 2 balance each other out. There is bound to be a surplus but I cannot say on which side it falls. Let us suppose that it is in favour of unexpected vacancies through death. Most patients are given around a 2% risk of death from surgery. So let us suppose that the surplus is around 1%. That means that an unexpected vacancy through death arises once every 6 weeks. That hardly justifies the huge number of 'false' admissions.
So why are so many patients being admitted and discharged on this dry cycling system? The answer is unclear but the Hospital Trust needs to give an explanation, as well as the figures. It is possible that the costs involved here are greater than the costs of the surgery actually performed. But I can tell you first hand that the human cost is definitely greater than the surgery itself.
Pierre

Friday, April 28, 2006

Health Services - A Consumers View

I see a growing influence of the media. Unwittingly we are being taught to complain because it stirs up news for the media. Journalism is all very fine but it is based on irresponsibility. Most of the journalists I know are very good at opening their mouths but have no idea how to solve the problem, themselves. At the end of the day there is only so much money available and unless we want our taxes to go up we have to be realistic about what we get for that money. Unfortunately, I believe politicians are about as good as journalists at actually doing something practical like running a department. I would like to say that bloggers have their pulse on the mood and with their keen analytical skills would be ideal candidates for managerial positions. Alas, not true, either. I recently sent 6 posts to a blogger high on political commentary but seemingly unable to either read or comprehend his own correspondence. I started off being impressed but after getting no sense out of him just gave up. http://ardenforester.blogspot.com/ .
Many of my readers will know that I suffered a heart attack 6 months ago. Forced retirement has led me to look again at what I can and, realistically, cannot do - hence becoming a blogger. Over the past few months I have got my blog up and running and tested out the schedule. Now the time has come to take a break. My triple bypass surgery is just 2 weeks away so the next 2 weeks will be filled with preparations and the period after with recovery. I have every intention of returning to blogging as soon as I am able and may be able to post a few bits and pieces in the meantime.
As far as the National Health Service is concerned I see a service which delivers a huge throughput day after day and staff that do an excellent job. I would be hard pressed to criticize, as a consumer. Of course, everyone wants more, more, more but there is no end to that theme. My question to all those whingers is 'Which specific service or issue is a problem for you and what would you like to be cut back to afford it?' The truth is most of the complainers are just baying for blood because that's the mood at the moment.
Anyway, bye for now. See you all again when I'm on the road to recovery.
Pierre

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Genius of Bob Dylan

In the United Kingdom we have recently been treated to an evening of Bob Dylan on BBC 4. This included the celebrated Martin Scorsese film and a fascinating documentary about the search for the tape of a play Dylan was in which was filmed in December 1962. I will not attempt to sum up Dylan's life and times, much as I am tempted, simply because many others have done this so well. What did catch my eye, however, was the interviews which he was obliged to give as well as the attitudes of some of the interviewers. Dylan hated being interviewed quite simply because he did not have a clue what to say. He saw himself as a 'song and dance man'. He loved writing and performing songs, period.
To many others he was far more than that. He lived through turbulent times - very turbulent times, by our standards. This was the era marked by the assassination of President Kennedy and the civil rights movement. Following a decade or more of persecution and paranoia, hopes were riding on anyone who seemed to be carrying the torch of freedom. If you listen to the words of his songs you would have to conclude that Dylan was part of that movement. His association with Joan Baez and subsequent attendance at significant events, his declared love of Woody Guthrie and all that that seemed to stand for, suggest that here was a powerful ally for the cause. Yet when asked about the symbolism in his songs he says there is no hidden meaning. It is what it is. He did not set out with the intention of writing a song with a special allegorical meaning.
As I watched the films I could see that what he says is exactly what did happen. He just sat down and wrote, or more often than not, typed. Apparently some of his songs were 50 verses long! They just came out, effortlessly. What sort of a man does that - and gets away with it?
Back in the 1970s I worked with a psychiatrist called Sylvia Lendrum. She had a famous twin brother who played Maigret on the television and they shared the same characteristic ear lobes (but she didn't smoke a pipe!) She was in her 80s then and had been brought out of retirement to help out. She was a truly remarkable woman and although I have worked with some very excellent and celebrated colleagues since, she remains my firm favourite. The reason for this is that she never used jargon or tried to impress. She talked in ordinary language about ordinary things and everyone from the smallest child to the wisest professor knew what she meant. She did not have to think about what she was doing - it just came naturally. Her impression on me was so profound that I spent the next 20 years trying to turn long words into short ones. Happily, clear English became a theme of our time, so my efforts, hopefully, were appreciated. I wish I could have seen Sylvia at age 20 to find out if she was as natural then, or whether I was simply seeing the cumulative impact of a lifetime of practice.
So, to return to Dylan. What sort of man just does it? The answer is a natural. He just wrote what he felt and sang what pleased him. When people tried to pin him down or make him perform for them, he took a break. To his credit, he remained true to himself and did not let the industry destroy him. Incredibly, all that happened over 40 years ago. Dylan at his most productive was 20 years old. He did not follow a cause - he followed his heart. I don't think he would have had the creative muse inside him if he had attached himself to anything deliberate.
We believe so very much in education and training these days and I would be the first to applaud this, but Dylan's legacy to us must surely be that we should avoid the little boxes that all look the same. I will, no doubt, write a piece about genius in due course. For the effect that his music has on me I have to say that Dylan was a genius, a natural talent, but whether or not he will fit the criteria I set when I look more closely is another matter. Anyway, I have a sneaky suspicion that he would not thank me for sticking a label on him - too much like the little boxes.
Pierre

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Dragon Slaying


Few Brits would care to admit that our American brethren can teach us anything about government and yet our experience of it in recent years suggests otherwise. Americans seem to be proud to be Americans and to share common ideals, loosely the inventory of democracy. Although the country is truly vast the individual state or county does not seem to matter half as much as the nation. Perhaps it matters in different ways.

Not so in the UK. We have been a United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland since 1800, the Scots having joined in 1707 and the Welsh between 1536 and 1543. Our identity as citizens, however, remains very local, not just national in the sense of Welsh, Scottish, Irish or English but by county or even town. Why should a country with such relative stability over many years have such a near parochial sense of personal identity? In a world increasingly looking toward a 'citizen of Earth' perspective we remain focussed on our own backyard.

Since 1997 we have devolved much political power to our constituent countries and our capital. London now has a mayor, much more like an American mayor than a British one - we chucked most of our historical mayors out some years ago as no longer appropriate to the modern age. Some towns brought them back again because they liked the ceremonial connection with history. England has a Parliament. Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have Assemblies, which are junior to Parliament. There is a campaign for an English 'parliament' or Assembly because the others have it but the English do not. Reading some of the arguments for this I get the impression that it is more a question of national identity than an enthusiasm for adding yet another tier of government to an already expanding bureacracy. I suspect the sight of an English flag as opposed to the Union Jack in football games has played some part in this new nationalistic wave.

America was born out of ideals into a tough world. It was always the land of opportunity and every settler was a foreigner in that vast land. The United Kingdom was born out of feudalism. Our ancestors paid allegience to the local landowner. We had no place bothering ourselves with what was happening in the world beyond. The cultural differences which developed even just a few miles apart are remarkable. So at least we spawned diversity. Perhaps our cousins across the pond could teach us a culture of national diversity or maybe we should all just skip that stage and go straight for 'citizen of Earth'

By the way, happy St George's Day, the patron saint of England.

Pierre

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Image source: http://www.toque.co.uk/witan/

Friday, April 21, 2006

Happy 80th Birthday Your Majesty

I love the British monarchy. I cannot imagine life without them. All the pomp and ceremony, the icons and, of course, the upper class twittiness of them. They are a complete anachronism in an age which revolves around functionality. That, in my view, is their strength. As long as we have a monarch our country is safe from tyranny and we can continue to bewilder the rest of the world with what we call 'typically British'.

Consider, for a moment, what the alternative might be. God forbid that we should have a president. Think of the unrest that would cause. Where's the continuity. Eight years max and they're gone (some not a moment too soon). And what 'represents' the country long term - a house. I ask you, a house. Not even a castle or a palace. A house.

No, I am convinced. The head of state must not be a politician, soldier, dictator, or anyone with actual power to run the country. A monarch is perfect. Long may she reign over us. Long may her family rival the soaps with their antics. God save the Queen.

Image source: www.achievements.co.uk/services/royal/index.html

Pierre

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Fools' Logic

Every so often a whole generation seems to 'happen' almost overnight. The process has always intrigued me, partly because I have a special interest in process but mainly because it happens in so many completely different situations and is not just limited to social and culture-bound phenomena. Metal, under pressure, will bend a certain amount before a catastrophic snap. Indeed the structure and nature of scientific revolution has been that a theory holds until it is discredited and replaced. Once that happens, everything changes. As they say in the Catholic Church 'Everything is prohibited until it is compulsory.'

This article is about just a tiny aspect of that idea and it is inspired by a television programme I saw last night. The programme charted and analysed the changes in comedy in British tastes over the past 40 years or so. Like so many programmes at the moment it seems to begin from an assumption that history began in the 1970s and then changed dramatically in the 80s. In truth, the natural starting point for modern history is obviously 1945. However, I digress.

The theory of humour ran thus: In the 1970s comedians were racist and sexist as were the population at large and, therefore, made humour out of hurtful jokes at the expense of the persecuted minorities. In the 1980s, on a wave of political correctness, the mainstream was challenged by a huge influx of politically aware 'alternative' comedians, including women and black people. This was so successful that it became the mainstream. Obviously, a new minority had to be found, not least because the young people of the day needed to laugh at something their parents could not understand. This emerged in the form of Reeves and Mortimer who managed to find a 'middle way'. This new style was to make humour out of nothing in particular, much of the emphasis being visual and at times surreal. It also achieved a more unifying atmosphere allowing the present generation of comedians to express their indebtedness to Reeves and Mortimer without putting their illustrious predecessors out of business. The most successful example of modern comedy, as cited, was 'Little Britain'.

For the benefit of readers from outside the shores of this fair land let me explain what you might expect from 'Little Britain'. It is full of characters who express the worst prejudices and political incorrectness you can possibly imagine. Sexism, racism, classism, genderism, you name it, they express it. Now, we are told that this is funny because it is so obvious that these characters are not real that this makes it alright.

I'm afraid this fools' logic escapes me. I cannot see the connection with the innocent frolickings of Reeves and Mortimer. This is not a progression from the past. This is revolution. The new generation sweeping in a new set of parameters. What is so very worrying is that a huge number of mainly young people obviously find it hilariously funny. These are people who cannot remember how prejudice was justified back in the 70s. Modern comedy is, in truth, pushing the boundaries of control to see how much it can get away with before someone comes along and imposes some restraint. Do we have a generation out of control who are so arrogant they feel they can justify parameters of intolerance with the overall message of our time - 'I can say what I want, do what I want and think what I want.' Dear God, how do we stop them?

Image source: www.costumes4less.com

Pierre
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I Don't Eat Babies' (Afterbirth)

Within hours of my last post reporting Tom Cruise's stated intention to eat Katie Holmes' placenta right after the birth little Suri came into the world. Already Tom appears to have retracted his statement in a further interview on television. For the time being no more interviews are being given.

The more I see of this pair and the more obvious it becomes that they are at the giggly love struck teenager stage in their relationship. Any idea they dream up is treated as a 'wow, awesome' and it is pointless trying to glean some factual sense out of it. The incident does, of course, tell us much about the relationship and I am afraid it is not good news. I had a brief look at some images of the 2 of them which confirmed their body language. Katie was in the 'hopelessly in love' position and Tom in the 'I own you' position of power. As I said yesterday, it is not normal for the man to be the one eating the placenta as he is not the one compromised physically by giving birth. So the point of Tom's statement was to make a power assertion about Katie. Who, in truth, owns the placenta? Katie. So why was she not the one saying who was going to eat her placenta?

I would be the last one to predict how a relationship will turn out but I have no problem commenting on how it is now. This one has all the passion of a high school infatuation but no sign of real growth for a lasting future. Power is the keyword in my version of psychotherapy and it is crawling all over this one. The person claiming the one up position, Tom, can only lose ground as the sub dominant one, Katie, begins to play gatekeeper. Tom's known response to frustration is to lash out and from then on he is on the retreat. He has no other strategy. If this couple were in therapy the main issue would be about control. Sad to say, this incident is not so much about eating a placenta as eating your words, Tom.

Pierre
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Eat Babies' (Afterbirth)

Cynicism abounds over the announcement that Tom Cruise will eat Katie Holmes' placenta immediately after she gives birth. No details yet as to how it will be cooked and whether or not the occasion will be televised. Most believe this is more about publicity than getting in touch with some primal or ancesteral self. Presumably details will emerge bit by bit in order to savour the moment. I sense a certain territorial angst here from the press who would not themselves hesitate to grab and elaborate on such a story if they had 'discovered' it for themselves. Many of the British Sunday Papers write stories like this all the time. Perhaps part of the problem is that the announcement 'missed' the Sundays.

Digging a little deeper into the idea reveals that far from being a bizarre notion it is a practise well rooted in history and given that placentas are designed to be nutritional obviously had a functional justification. Death of the mother in childbirth was quite common. Nowadays it is extremely rare. A mother who has lost a lot of blood would be happy for the nourishment. There are also beliefs that it prevents post natal depression and restores hormonal balance. Less probabal is the post I found of a woman whose hippie mother had a home birth without drugs in order to be 'natural' and promptly buried the placenta under a Linden tree. I was about to dismiss this as nothing more than superstition when I noticed that the poster's username is 'treehugger'. Perhaps more care should be taken about the disposal of such a sensitive organ.

It has taken us a very long time to shed our animal past and there remain many examples of how we hanker after it still. Once we were caught by the civilisation kick there really was no turning back. Smell is probably the most obvious one which could never make a comeback. In my lifetime the requirement to shower daily and disguise the natural body odour has become firmly established. In the 19th century and previously the smell which came from human bodies was very pronounced to say the least. Our attitude to pain has changed also. Once just something you had to put up with, now totally unacceptable. I saw a television programme recently in which modern children experienced schooling in the 1950s style and in one scene a girl was near hysterical because she was being made to run 100 yards. Her belief was that her human rights were being infringed by this barbaric act.

To return to the cooking of placentas. I have found a website of recipies reproduced from Mothering Magazine, September 1983, Vol. 28, pg 76. Here you can choose from: Placenta Cocktail, Placenta Lasangne, Placenta Spaghetti, Placenta Stew, Placenta Pizza and Placenta Roast. Find them all on: http://www.twilightheadquarters.com/placenta.html

The idea that eating a placenta is just practical and not an act of cannibalism is something I have some difficulty with. I suppose the notion is that it is of no further use to the mother or child after the birth so it may as well be put to good use. Well, supposing that a group of people lost in a remote part of the world suffer an attack from a crocodile who bites off someone's leg but is repelled before being able to devour it. The leg is of no further use to the unfortunate wretch who has lost it so why not eat it? What then if the victim takes a turn for the worst and dies from his injuries. His body is of no further use. Why not eat it? At least the man died of his injuries and was not killed for food. Which is worse killing an animal for food or eating meat from an animal (or human) who has died from some other cause.

If my argument were sound the next step would be the justification of eating all dead people. Instead of a wake the family would gather for a feast - 'Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to eat the body of our dearly departed'. The idea is clearly repulsive. There is something about human attachment behaviour which prevents us from closing the final chapter on our loved ones in anything but a grieving way. There really is a distinction between humans and animals. At the end of life the sanctity of the body is clear. At the beginning of life it is fiercely argued, the biggest problem being that of deciding at what point an embryo becomes human. Placentas and other bodily secretions are not human. They are the waste products of the human organism, never capable of sustaining independent life and never part of the human body. It is morally, therefore, acceptable to eat them, just like drinking urine, without this being an act of cannibalism. Personally, I am far too civilised, and have no wish to emulate my ancestors but if Tom gets a kick out of it well good luck to him. I am curious to note that the literature I have reviewed so far refers to the benefit to the mother or child (usually later in childhood) but I can find no reference to fathers eating the placenta. Perhaps animal fathers do this in order to clean up the evidence when the young are at their most vulnerable but what of human fathers? If anyone knows of any evidence please post a comment. Meanwhile, I will keep an eye on the press to see what develops.

Pierre
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Saturday, April 15, 2006

LOST: Pair of Canons, One Careful Owner

In the news this week is the outrageous theft of 2 canons from outside St George's Barracks, Gosport. The piece caught my eye partly because I lived in Gosport in the 1970s and, therefore, know both the location and, indeed, the actual canons in question. They were displayed at the entrance to the barracks and presented a fine approach to this worthy establishment. For those of you reading from around the world Gosport is one half of Portsmouth harbour on the south coast of England. It is mainly a naval area, Portsmouth itself being the final resting place of HMS Victory, Nelson's flagship at the Battle of Trafalgar. Less famous, Gosport is where early hovercraft experiments took place and it is just around the corner from that location that you would find St George's Barracks. Even as I write I can smell the sea being churned up by the hovercraft as it crossed the road and entered the Solent at Lee on Sea.

Theft of public property has always been a problem and I am not for one minute going to suggest that it is worse today than it was 30 years ago when I lived in Gosport, as the following story will reveal.

One of my young friends took particular delight in going on expeditions to steal items that mostly belonged to the public domain and these were often brought back to my house rather like a cat presenting a dead mouse. I was the only member of our 'gang' who lived independently being in my late 20s compared to their early 20s or even late teens. Mostly, I found myself acquiring an impressive collection of signs which I must say, looking back, would have made an ideal Tate Modern piece on modern culture. However, one day a family of high quality stone or presumably moulded garden gnomes appeared. In those days the only garden gnomes that were normally available were plastic, smaller, and the subject of ridicule, being considered in extremely bad taste. These, however, were aristocrats, ahead of their time in setting a standard that would be difficult to surpass. My heart sank. What to do. My young friend and his accomplice(s) were especially pleased with their 'find' and would hear nothing of protest from me. They were certainly not the least interested in returning the gnomes to their rightful owners so I did what I believed was the only decent option available which was to stash the gnomes in the garden shed, alongside all the signs and there they lay for many months.

Life moved on and some 9 months later the time came for me to leave Gosport and move to Germany where I worked for the Ministry of Defence. The 'gang' was dissolving also as each one made other plans in their lives. There came a moment when all our belongings were packed off into storage, apart from the gnomes! What to do. This time I put my foot down. The gnomes were to be returned to the garden from whence they had been removed. And so it was. In the dead of night the family were placed carefully back in the garden, spread out and working as before.

I would love to have seen the expressions on the faces of the owners and listened to their conversations about the return of the gnomes. For my part I believe I turned the highly dishonourable practice of theft around and left the situation better than it was at the outset.

Back in the 21st century I would like to believe that the canons are in someone's shed, stolen only for the devilment of doing it. Alas, I fear they were stolen for profit and by now have been moved to their new home, never to return to St George's Barracks - unless the gnomes know differently.

Pierre
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Monday, March 27, 2006

Happy 80th Birthday Mom

Today my mother is 80. As you can see she is still active, in fact she still goes dancing, something she has enjoyed all her life. On the news today, also, was a piece about a woman of 103 who has had an operation. The doctor treating her said he had performed the operation because there was not much wrong with her in spite of her age. The operation was to relieve pain and was considered worth doing because she should live for some years yet.

Since having my heart attack I have become quite interested in life expectancy and amused my friends and family by suggesting that once my body is stabilised there is no reason why I should not live for another 40 years, which would mean I would die at the age of 96.

We are certainly on the verge of some remarkable medical achievements. Various forms of cancer, for example, are now mainly diseases of old age and with experiments in the area of stem cell treatments it may be that a whole new world of genetic therapies will see total mastery over cell manipulation. Also, there is news that statin treatment for heart conditions can also reverse damage, leading to speculation that some heart conditions can be prevented altogether.

One of the articles I read recently suggested that the first person to live to 150 has probably already been born. Others have suggested that immortality is just a matter of time (pardon the pun).

The social consequences of immortality do not bear thinking about and even the trend is having a marked effect on society. A few years ago we had an unfortunate tendency to write off anyone considered too old to be of any value. Now they are such a dominant force, in sheer numbers, that the elderly perspective cannot be written off. I just hope this will stop the throw away fad that has gripped us for so long. An attack of 'old is beautiful' would be very nice, thank you.

Alas, in the scheme of things, extending life is one thing. Immortality is quite another. Personally, I believe everything has a beginning, a middle and an end and it is inevitable that all things pass on. I say 'pass on' because it does seem that matter is neither created nor destroyed even if it does dramatically change its structure, nature's recycling plant. I can accept that most of me will end up as a cloud, being 80% water and little bits will contribute to other natural phenomena, mainly as nutrients for other life forms. As to whether 'life' and 'physical restructuring' are the same is another thing altogether. I must say I have difficulty thinking of conscious experience as essentially a physical thing and even greater trouble working out where it goes to in the process of bodily recycling. There has to be more to it than this. However, just as we are nowhere towards understanding the origins of the universe (see earlier article) I do not believe we have much of a clue about the nature and purpose of life itself. In which case how do we decide what is the appropriate way to live our lives?
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Saturday, March 18, 2006

THE ENEMY AT THE DOOR

For reasons not worth explaining I am the proud owner of 3 step ladders. At least I was until a few hours ago when this was reduced to 2. I am in the process of selling a house which is unoccupied but still has various possessions in (2 ladders among other things) and which includes the tv aerial which was on the roof until the chimney stack was demolished as unsafe. Not wishing to waste a good aerial I brought it home and rigged it up to work with my computer system to provide me with digital tv. Like all aerials it worked better at a height and so I found myself contriving more and more Heath Robinson ways of taking it up ever higher. The latest of these was the step ladder. I returned triumphant to the house to find I had a perfect picture on all channels - even Five and the History Channel. Come bedtime I decided to leave my contraption out overnight arguing to myself that I am situated on a crossroad and surrounded by houses. Also the ladder was behind the car and right by the front door. Most importantly, the gambler's rule, I could afford to lose it (because I had 2 more). You will not be surprised to learn that overnight the ladder went and the aerial was unceremoniously sitting on the ground when I investigated this morning. Bah!

Of all the urban myths in existence this has to be the biggest. We all go through life believing that most people are honest. The truth is that most people are thieves. Even the 'decent' ones. Even the ones who would do you a favour or help you out and not expect anything back for it.

Part of this urban myth of honesty contains reference to the 'golden age' when no one had to lock their doors because nothing would be taken. I heard a very interesting lecture by a man who had just written a book on this subject some years ago. It turns out that the various 'golden ages' were always your own childhood and it was impossible to locate one of them in history. At the time this book was written there was a lot of concern about football hooligans (the eighties) and the perceived 'golden age' was the 1930s. In truth, the violence in football, and in society in general, during that period was far more severe than it was in the 1980s. It was quite normal to have pitched battles among opposing fans. Nevertheless, the theory of moral degeneration received much coverage. Again, untrue. The evidence for the open house 'golden age' was similarly startling. In the first place it simply did not occur where there was any kind of mobility of the population or any quantity. In small towns and neighbourhoods that did not generally see strangers it is true that people did not perceive the need to lock their doors. As it happens these same people had no possessions of any value so there really was nothing to steal.

What then is the main cause of theft in society. The answer is glaringly simple. It is opportunity. Most people who saw something unattended which they wanted would steal it if they thought they could get away with it. The myth is that we are honest. Yet almost any conversation with your fellow will reveal at least some element of dishonesty. How many people believe (yes believe) that it is OK to fiddle the tax man. Yet this is directly stealing money which belongs to all of us. If we had an actual pot into which we all threw money according to some agreed principles and someone came along and helped themselves to it we would not be very happy. Yet that is what the tax thief does. When it comes to communal honesty what could be more central than that.

My view is that one of the most important activities of our age is that of security. Sad though it is we have to treat our fellows as potential thieves and act and plan accordingly. I like to think that people are not that different from animals, which, after all, is what we are. If you left your dog in the kitchen where you had prepared a huge meal would you expect to find everything untouched when you returned? I think not. The dog would see the food, want it and have it. Leaving aside morality, and I really think we should leave aside morality, the only difference between the dog and the human is that the dog would not worry about getting caught. yet do we believe the dog is evil or a psychopath. Not at all we just accept that dogs are like that and have to be supervised. You cannot expect too much of them. Some humans, I believe, are exactly like dogs. Others, most, will only steal if they think they will get away with it.

My conclusion is that security is not an optional extra in life. Everything we do must be done on a worse case scenario. Assume someone is out to get you and mess up what you are doing. Or at best that they are just feckless and reckless with regard to your welfare. Assume also that they are quite willing to wag their tail at you and lick you. The world of Victorian decency and scoundrels does not fit the modern world. I hesitate to say that we live in a dog eat dog world because dogs don't eat other dogs but if you stretch the metaphors enough you can certainly see the point. Probably a fuller analysis would reveal that ownership is part of a capitalist belief system and theft has to be seen against this backcloth whereas human relationships is about attachment behaviour. I shall muse on this distinction a little more before writing about it. What intrigues me is that both come together in the concept of democracy, that sacred word that no one is allowed to attack, but I am wondering if democracy has to be a part of capitalism or, indeed, if it has any real meaning at all.

Pierre
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